“Breathing in, I calm my body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is the only moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Jean hadn’t taken a breath in a very long time. As I watched, she took sips, she held her breath, she gulped. But there was no deep, rhythmic breathing. She was in full-out stress and anxiety, with adrenalin and cortisol coursing through her system.
Jean was a nurse with a delightful sense of humor, which I often wondered wasn’t just her coping mechanism but also her salvation as she traveled through this Uncharted Territory of her Soul’s journey. At 62 years old, she was a cancer survivor and what we call a ‘double winner’ as a recovering alcoholic through AA and a recovering Co-Dependent through Alanon.
With a 22-year-old daughter who continued to go in and out of drug and alcohol recovery programs, Jean was struggling. In addition, she recently learned that her husband of 33 years, who had recently died, had secretly gone back into his gambling addiction over the past year. There was no money left in their savings.
“Breathe, Jean, breathe.” For as we say in mindfulness work, “As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than is wrong.”
Let’s focus on what’s right and on your breath. I knew that having Jean create a space of peace and calm, beginning with her breath, was essential for her navigating through this uncharted territory – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. What is most striking when one is in this stage of stress and anxiety is that breathing becomes disordered, rapid, shallow, and irregular. Not a good place to be to make healing, healthy, conscious decisions.
As we continued to work together, Jean learned to calm her entire nervous system with mindful breathing. She found that with the basics of Mindful Breathing, she was able to navigate through this Uncharted Territory with grace, dignity, and, yes, even joy.
This was in the mid-1980s, and I was noticing that many of my clients (Jean wasn’t the only one), weren’t breathing with a deep rhythmic breath. They were ‘sipping’, ‘gulping’, or ‘gasping’.
Knowing that they were not gifting their brains, their nervous systems, and entire bodies with enough oxygen, I was on a mission to support them in learning healthy techniques of breathing. I first began studying breath work through Dr. Andrew Weil, who is considered the grandfather of Integrative Health and Wellness, out of the University of Arizona.
At the time that I was beginning to teach my clients the benefits of Mindful Breathing, my counseling office was in a business center where I shared a reception area. The receptionist always knew who my clients were. She’d tell me, “They are the ones sitting and breathing!”
Even now, although much of my work is done virtually, I can hear how a client is breathing, whether she is sipping, sighing, or holding her breath, and I am able to support her in coming back to the mindful breath, to calm and balance her entire system. Out of that comes wiser choices of action.
Fast forward from 1984 to 2009…I sat at my husband’s bedside as he was losing his battle with cancer after seven long years. He was struggling and working so hard to breathe. In that privileged sacred moment, as he suddenly became quiet and gently took his final breath, that last sacred breath, and released it, I found myself making a commitment. I would spend the rest of my life teaching how to honor and to hold sacred the breath. And so, I invite you to join me in a simple breathing practice.
Practice: Mindful Breathing
I invite you to sit tall, bringing your shoulders up towards your ears and then back, your chest slightly out, like a rainbow, opening your heart chakra, with your chin slightly up.
Create a soft smile with upturned corners on your mouth and soft smiling eyes. Now see that smile radiate to your heart, as though your beautiful heart is smiling. Researchers have found that having this ‘genuine smile’, which includes the smile on your mouth, your eyes, and your heart smiling, activates specific ‘Pleasure’ areas in your brain, even if you aren’t feeling happy. It’s fascinating: the simple act of smiling is not only a sign of being happy, but it can also actually help you feel happier!
Now, this is a little more complicated, but I want you to see yourself outside of you, just above and to the right. This is called the observer position. As you continue to sit with that smile on your face, your eyes, and your heart, warmly, compassionately observe yourself, seeing yourself in the present moment just as you are…. with those smiling eyes. Feel a wave of friendly compassion for yourself. “Oh, there she is, wanting to learn more conscious ways of being present and caring for her health and soul. And… I love her.”
Choosing this posture gives your brain the message that you are in a state of well-being – you are safe. There is no tiger chasing you. It also allows you to be more in a state of open presence, aware and centered.
Now since you can’t close your eyes because you are reading, I invite you to gently lower your gaze so that you are turning your awareness inward, shutting out the diversions and distractions of the outside world. This is another powerful signal you are sending to your body that you are safe in the moment.
I invite you now to place your hand on your belly and allow the breath to fill your belly as you breathe in and release it. Breathe a little slower now, maybe 4 seconds on the inhale, with a longer 8 seconds on the exhale. Whatever is comfortable for you with your out-breath twice as long as your in-breath,
By breathing deep into your belly and breathing out longer than your in-breath, you are ‘pushing’ against your Vagus Nerve, the longest cranial nerve that runs from your brain stem to the post of your colon. This pressure activates your parasympathetic nervous system, creating a healing calm within your system.
Slowing your breath sends another powerful signal, telling your body once again that you are in a place and a time that is safe because that is the only time you would slow your breathing in this way. You are not being chased by a tiger! There is nothing to fear. You are safe, and you can slow your breathing.
Quietly, gently, breathing in and breathing out. As you breathe in, you might slowly think calm (four counts), and as you breathe out, slowly think peace, ease, and flow (eight counts).
If your mind wanders, and it will, because that is what our minds do, no worries, gently notice it and bring it back to the breath, the gift of this precious breath. No judgment, just continue to come back to your breath.
- Breathe in Calm…. Breathe out Peace, Ease and Flow
- Breathe in Calm…. Breathe out Peace, Ease and Flow
- Breathe in Calm…. Breathe out Peace, Ease and Flow
Now, receive one last mindful breath, release it, and gently lift your gaze, noticing and naming how you feel physically and emotionally.
Are you a little calmer?
Do you find yourself breathing a little more rhythmically?
This is a reminder once again that what you are doing is calming your amygdala, the reptilian part of your brain that can often be so busy releasing cortisol and adrenaline…sending you into fight, flight, or freeze.
You might want to take a few minutes and write down what you are experiencing.
What we know is that taking a few moments throughout the day to practice this Mindful Breathing quiets your amygdala, allowing healing endorphins to be released into your brain and throughout your entire nervous system. It just takes a couple of moments. Yet, it’s the best pharmacy we have. It is a way of creating new neuro-pathways, creating more calm, awareness, and resiliency.
I encourage you to actually schedule Mindful Breathing throughout your day. It helps to schedule when, and what time you will do it.
Here is some of the feedback that I have received from women as they practice Mindful Breathing on a conscious level throughout the day:
“In just a short amount of time, I can feel my body go into a different physical state. It feels so peaceful and empowering with the difference I can make in my body!” Maureen C.
“I now understand that mindful breathing slowly sends a message to my brain that I’m in a safe environment and I can relax. No tigers in my life now! ” Samatha B.
“I love this, Anna! It is soooo helpful! I am responding to life much more calmly! It is making such a huge difference in how I am experiencing my Soul’s journey!” Judy C.
It’s through the practice, the continual practice, that we experience the change in neuroplasticity, in our neuro-biology, and go into creating a desired state of being. If you practice Mindful Breathing once an hour (remember, it only takes a couple of minutes), doing it whether there is chaos or not, you will be more likely to enter any chaos in an observer position, with a sense of peace and calm.
As I have consciously practiced these over the years, I see where sitting taller, heart open, with a smile on my face, and mindfully breathing has become a default position. I experience much more resilience, creativity, and calm. It is a powerful, liberating way of Self-Care, navigating uncharted territory and traveling on Your Soul’s Journey….open to noticing the Synchronicities and Miracles.
Here’s to mindfully and playfully using your breath to support you in healing, Taking Really Good Care of YOU, and Befriending Your Beautiful Soul!
